Engagement

I found this week's blog prompt extremely interesting and it intrigued me. I like to observe the behaviors of people around me, especially those I am interacting with. So to sit and think about what engages me was rather fun. Not only did I consider what about other people engage me, I also considered what I do personally.

 There are many times and various situations where I have been actively engaged in something. A versatile example, where I can exam someone I am communicating with or look at myself, is a conversation. There are various forms to which a conversation can take: In person, on the phone, or over the Internet. I am going to mainly refer to a conversation in person, but I would like to mention the other two first. A conversation over the phone is challenging because one is not able to see the other person. However, this makes the listener more in tune because they have to figure out the reactions of the other person without being able to see facial expressions. This leaves the interpretation up to the tone and pitch of the voice, as well as silences. I am more engaged in a conversation when I can tell by someone’s voice that they are interested in the conversation. Their voice indicates whether or not they are invested in the topic or whether they are bored. A pause can indicate two things, comfortableness or a loss of interest. In addition to the phone conversation, the form a conversation can take is also through the Internet, whether email or chat. This can consist of either your emotional and personal thoughts or intellectual thoughts. How someone expresses themselves really can capture my attention. If I can tell that they have deeper thoughts expressed in the email, I am more engaged in what they have to say, rather then something superficial. It also makes a difference how timely they are at responding back to me. If I am waiting for a reply and it takes many days, I can tell they are not as interested in talking with me, which triggers a disinterest on my part.

 Moving on to what actually engages me about a conversation in person. There are so many things on my list, but to name a few: body language, eye contact, content of conversation, laughter, style people speak in, the other person’s investment in subject, and many more things. I find it very important to keep myself engaged with another person is how they seem to respond to me. What is important in a conversation is the rapport that two people have going on. If I can tell the other person is engaged in what I am talking about, then I am more willing to put more effort into the conversation, and everyone benefits from a more dynamic and interesting conversation.

 Some things that really turn me off are certain behavioral patterns. If this is a person you are interacting with frequently and you pick up on certain repeated habits, they tend to bother me. A good example is if you are having a conversation with two or three other people and you ask only one of them a question, and the other person responds for them. I am really bothered by people answering questions for other people. I asked them the question; otherwise I would have asked the person for their opinion. I am also disengaged in a conversation when other people do not seem to be responsive to things I have said, and they only seem interested in getting what they have to say out. Another major thing about a conversation that can be challenging to continue being engaged, is if a person is very monotone, and has no feeling coming out in what they are expressing.

 I personally think that I do a good job of expressing myself on a matter, my voice, I have been told, indicates exactly how I feel. It is very obvious when I am not interested in a conversation, my responses become short and simple. I also believe that I have great body language during conversations. If we are sitting down, my body is leaned more over the table towards the other person and I am actively listening. My arms are usually not folded, which sometimes can indicate that a person is bored. I also am able to communicate what I am trying to say well, which can help with clarity of a conversation. And on top of that, you can tell I am engaged when I ask lots of questions. But a few things that I do, that might discourage people from engaging in a conversation with me, could be that when they are talking about something so foreign to me, I do not really ask questions trying to understand what they are talking about.